No Bullshit Reviews » Opinion

Top 3 Really Dumb Iphone Apps

info — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 02:56:26 +0000

When it comes to applications, the iPhone has it all. Want to control your TV? There’s an app for that. Want to find the nearest Chinese restaurant? There’s an app for that. Want to record your bowel habits and share them with your friends? Yep, there’s an app for that, too. A program called Poop the World somehow squeezed its way into Apple’s iPhone App Store this month. For $1.99, the app combines the iPhone’s GPS power with your own notes to create a public diary of your private business.

Dumb? Sure. Pointless? Of course. But surprising? Not at all. I hate to be a party pooper, but let’s face it: Crappy apps are becoming commonplace on the iPhone. For every Pandora or Remote, there’s a Poop the World or a Pull My Finger lurking right around the corner.

It used to be that the Palm Pilot had the most downloadable apps. Now, it’s different. Palm is dead and the iPhonereigns supreme. When it comes to applications, the iPhone has it all. Even the Windows Mobile phones can’t compete. Don’t believe me? Check out the Apple Store. Or Cydia. Or Installer

Want to control yourDVD? There’s an app for that. Want to find the nearest German bistro? There’s an app for that. Want to record your nosepicking habits and post them on facebook? Yep, there’s an app for that, too. There’s even a shit program called Poop the World that pooped its way into Apple’s iPhone App Store. For a dollar, the app combines the iPhone’s GPS power with your own notes to create a public diary of your private business. How sick is that??!

Insane? Def. Pointless? Of course. But delightful? For some sickos- yeah!. I hate to be a party pooper, but let’s face it: Shit apps are becoming commonplace on the iPhone. Wanna know which iphone apps really burp this month? Check it out!

1. FatBurner2k

You want to shed poounds without running the treadmill? Perhaps you want instant weightloss while stuffing that burger down your throat. FatBurner2K is just the perfect app for you–you just have to lack the brain neurons in order to believe it.

FatBurner 2K claims to “turn your iPhone into the gym that works on your terms.” I guess what that means is that you can reach for your iphone while watching Fast Food Nation on TV with a tub of popcorn by your side. FatBurner’s power ingredient: The app makes your iPhone vibrate. Now you don’t have to spend $79 on Hydroxycut Hardcore (which was banned) anymore. So cool isn’t it?

2. Passion

There were a few apps that rated how well you can kiss. Then there were those that scored how good your farts blasted away. Now we have an app that checks out how masterful your coitus goes. So… pump away. Grind at your GF and await the score. You’ll know just how cool a lover you are. I don’t know how this works, but I’m guessing the accelerometer measures just how many times she vibrates in orgasm.

3. Sexy Girl Talk: Sexy Alphabet Deluxe

Some nerd guys just can’t get it off unless they hear some sexy whispers in their ear. For those with a fetish for vocal cords, this is the app for you. A sexy voice reads the alphabet to you in what appears to be a cross between Nicole Kidman and Angelina Jolie from a director’s nightmare of a movie.

If you’d ask me, I’d rather pay my girlfriend to whisper in my ear!

There are a lot more dumb iphone apps out there. I’d post them but you’d accuse me of insulting your intelligence.

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Review: Get The Bed Fan To Save Electricity

info — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 03:25:57 +0000

I like to sleep snug and cool. If it’s blistering hot, like when I vacationed at Cape Town, I would stay up all night. In a puddle of sweat. This necessitates flipping on my 2.0HP GE air conditioner. It’s not very earth friendly, now is it? I get my cool at the cost of spewing CFCs into our damaged ozone layer. So ultimately, it gets hotter in the world.

So I’m glad that a developer created the Bed Fan to save electricity.

Costing a hundred bucks, the bed fan sucks air from under the bed and channels it around the body. This innovative tool pushes cooler air only where you need it: your feet, torso and head. There’s no waste of cooling an entire room.

There’s just one catch. If your bed is filthy underneath, you may be blowing an armada of bugs right up your pajamas.

Make sure you clean up before you cool down!

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Padded Posts for Brits

info — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 07:57:18 +0000

Here’s proof that government does care- well at least sometimes. The UK government mandated that all lamposts be wrapped in nice cushy padding because citizens can’t seem to stop texting for the latest gossip on who’s sleeping with who. Of course that leads to a fair share of cut noggins which can be a drain on the funds of hapless insurance agents.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve tripped over fire hydrants, low picket fences and overhanging branches a few times. Can we ban those as well?

Or wait… perhaps it’s cheaper to just install cell phone jammers near areas with many obstructions!

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Commodity Forex Online Trading

info — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 03:27:47 +0000

Even if you’re a newbie to finance and forex you most probably have picked up on the whispers about Spread Trading. From Alabama to New Zealand everyone and their uncle is getting online with this compelling way of trading in the global forex, stock and commodity markets. Since it is so brainer to start trading here are a few tips to get you flying as e you commence trading online with your hard earned money.

First. Be smart and start off small.

As you master the nitty gritty of commodity forex online trading take a bretaher to get to know the forex market, the competing players and most critically your own psyche.

Paper trading first raise your intuition whether you are on the game or if you must to invest more time sharpening your capabilitues before taking the plunge with your cash. Discover the smallest amount you can commence trading with and stick to it. Don’t fold if things go bad. Understand well ahead of time what you are willing to play with…no waffling.

When possible, get the advice of experts who have traded for a while and see how they get their forex groove online. After all, no need to reinvent the wheel when others can do it for you. Once you familiarize with other’s opinion of the forex market, you yourself witll get accustomed to the market as well. Read as much information as you can on the market and trading in general. Master different trading strategies as there are numerous methods to profit from the commodity and forex markets and there are some excellent sources of information always available to help you.

Set yourself a stop. That’s important!

Even prior to advancing a trade make sure you understand where you are comfortable to exit if things turn against you. Impose a price and stand by your guns. If you are comfortable with bleeding 20% on a trade, set a stop and you will be peaceful knowing that you imposed a limit on your loses.

Understanding the intricacies of commodity forex online trading will definitely make you a much better trader over time. Always do your homework with with you preparation of financial data before plunging in can eliminate the crazy mistakes which can set you back before you have even begun.

For more information on trading Forex and Commodities online visit sites like Avafx.com and Ac-Markets.com

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Relax with Weirdness

info — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 11:07:04 +0000

I’m so stressed! Goodness, I just threw my coffee at the busted LCD in the corner of my office. Good thing I got something mindless to do at this weird site that catalogues some of the zaniest things documented on the web.

Mosey over and tell me if it destresses you as well.

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SonicGear 2Go i-5000. Music for Cheapos

info — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 07:00:56 +0000

Call me jaded, but after relishing vibrance from Altec Lansing and Bose for my 3rd gen Nano, it’s tough to slum it up with a more economical (cheaper) alternative.

The $60 2Go i-5000 is a compact, transforming setup boasting four micro drivers, a three inch bass driver and the antiquated 2.1 system. It’s barebones, so the tech guys, threw in extra value with a remote, and USB /firewire connectivity. This unit chugs well on batteries as well as the plug in charger. With the latter, your ipod gets extra juice for its batts.

Don’t expect sonorous sound quality on this setup. A 25 sqm room is the maximum serviceable area. Beyond that, you’ll feel like someone’s banging on tin cans. Audiophiles won’t give it a second glance.

The 2GO i-5000 feels happiest in an office cubicle or on the front seat of a van on long distance travels. It’s light and bubbly only within confined spaces.

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Two-Faced Phones For You!

info — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 08:20:12 +0000

Samsung joins in on the “who’s got the coolest phone” bandwagon with the two-faced F300 and F500. And when I say two-faced, I mean it!

The F300 Ultra Music boasts a plain phone on one side and a music player on the other. Now you can leave the extra weight of that Ipod at home with this baby. You can look cool with slimmer pockets, without sacrificing your perpetual music fix.

But what if you’re a video junkie and lug a video ipod wherever you go? No sweat! The F500 Ultra video descended from the F300 and neatly transforms into a video player. Simply swivel the bottom half to rest on your desktop and whammo! You got yourself a movie player in landscape mode. With a large 2.4 inch color TFT display and DivX video codec support, you can watch Pamela Anderson’s boobs bouncing in full glory.

Who still wants an iPhone now???

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Chinese Nightmare Trip

info — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 15:15:34 +0000

Watch what you eat and buy in China. The government’s idea of consumer protection is giving “Certificates of Government Approval” to those rich enough to pay for them. I bet the inspectors never even peek under the hood of what they approve!

You see, I recently visited Guangdong and bought a can of mushrooms. After frying it, I consumed the sickly looking things only to experience severe stomach upsets right after. My guide said (seriously) that manufacturers here tend to use formalin in their food stuffs. Formalin??? Isn’t that to preserve the dead?

The shopping district looked next to Shi’a beckoned to me after the doc pumped me full of medicine so I took a stroll and bought some shirts and jeans. Hmmm… never knew that Prada was spelt “Prrada” and Louis Vuitton sold as “Luis Veeton” here. Quality matched the poor spelling: the darn things started shrinking after a good wash.

Sigh. Any horror stories from fellows visiting this consumer unfriendly land?

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AndroticsDirect.com – Great Products, Lousy Service

info — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 00:42:50 +0000

After all the glowing reviews, I made a purchase from this pheromone site that promises me feel-good vibes- not just for myself, but also for people around me.

I liked the product when it did arrive. I felt super! It’s literally like Prozac perfume. No matter how stressed I am, wearing this scientific cologne gives me kicks.

The bad side is it took these people almost 2 months to deliver. Now that’s unacceptable. I suggest buying from speedier, more customer-friendly sites, like lovescent.

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Yahoo Messenger 9.0- Revival?

info — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 07:00:22 +0000

I learned at Search Engine Guide that Yahoo. released a new version of YM. Are you a YM fan? You’ll probably appreciate the new features:

Updated Contact List Look – Contact avatars are larger than it was before, users can hover on individual contacts to send IM, SMS or Call.

Brand New Skins and Emoticons – More skins were added which can be easily changed by clicking on the red dot at the upper right hand corner of the YM Window. Likewise, more emoticons are added into YM’s growing family of emoticons.

New Flickr integration – Share Flickr photos via the YM window or even save photos shared by YM contacts into a user’s Flickr account. This is a feature that is a long time coming since Flickr has been Yahoo’s most popular web tool since it was acquired by Yahoo.

In-Line Media Player – This new feature makes it easy to view maps, photos and videos right in the Yahoo Messenger Window, without the need for another Plug-in.

New Voice Call Features – Forward incoming Phone in or PC calls into a mobile, home or office phone, even if user is logged out of YM. Likewise, when someone leaves a voicemail, an email alert is sent to users.

Too many features if you ask me. Is YM going the route of ICQ- overloading the control panel, thereby overwhelming the user?

The reason I shifted to Google from Yahoo is that the interface is sleek and does one thing well: give excellent search results. Yahoo’s portal and Messenger flood the screen with doodads I never need or want. I feel swamped looking at the stream of text and buttons.

I doubt I’d ever jump from Meebo and Gtalk back to YM.

Simple is best for me.

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