Who said you need a doctor these days? I single-handedly smashed the Pox in less than a week!

Here’s my story…

Late last month, I woke up one fine morn and found myself growling from a red-hot headache. Worse, there were funny itchy wart-like things poppin’ over my body. Darn. Looks like I was gonna miss the stag party of my best bud tonight.

I consulted my doc and he affirmed my suspicion. The funk I felt came from the chicken pox virus - and a nasty new strain at that. He whipped me up a standard prescription for Aciclovir. With it, he says, I should be well in two to three weeks.

Now pharma companies make me crawl inside and their $$$ tablets throw me more side effects than red kryptonite does on Superman. I painfully recalled how Amoxicillin swelled my cheeks to thrice their size. Not to mention I saw ten fingers on each hand.

No way. I’d do this the alternative way. After all, I’ve been buying zany health gadgets from Qlinks to Zappers!

My mantle spilt over with at least 30 ‘healing tools’ purchased from scores of sites. Tesla purple plates? Check. Ionizers? Check. Magnetic Pulsers? Ready. Rife machines? Got two!I finally settled on the biggest guns I had: a bad-ass Silver Pulser and a powerful chi generator.

The former heals by electrifying blood as it passes the wrist- every microbe or virus that strolls past the artery is literally shocked to death. From there, the good ole white blood cells cart em off for burning.

The latter, a model called the JU99, uses ‘reich’ technology to generate a field of dense chi near the body. For the newbie, chi is used in martial arts and reiki for enhanced bodily functions. If you’ve seen guys surviving sledgehammer blows to the chest- that’s the effect of chi.

Now, old old style practitioners preferred needles (accupuncture) to manipulate this energy. Needles make me squirm and so I resort to my JU99 chi generator. All it does is blink warmly and stimulate chi.

I used both devices two hours a day (or until my wrists stung from the current) and slept the rest. Combined with good GNC multivitamins and fresh sports water (chockful of minerals), I completely healed on the fifth day. By completely, I mean that my headaches ceased and most of the itchy lumps sloughed off. I felt ready to run the quartermile.

My doctor is completely baffled. He can’t imagine how these two “non-FDA approved” devices returned me to full health 15 days ahead of schedule.

How many of you folks go for these alternative cures over pill popping?