I like my PCs fast. Really fast. The problem is, Windows is an inherently slow system. It loads device drivers you don’t need. It has a crappy file system that leaves fragments. It runs services that conflict and add to boot time. Why- I remember that a brand new install of Vista normally takes 1.5 minutes to load- and all it has is MS Office, Adobe and Corel Draw installed!

It’s for this reason that I love using system optimizers. I’ve spent a lot on various offerings from download.com but have fallen in love with just one: Ashampoo WinOptimizer. It’s one baby that did everything for me! Continue Reading »
Review: Ashampoo WinOptimizer Puts PC On Nitro

My computer is bloated. It’s got- oh about 1Terabyte of data on it. That’s about 1000 Gigabytes of hardcore stuff. With a mess like that, I rely on the search function of vista to look for files. No longer do I use the folders menu or the programs menu on Start. No siree…. That would take forever! Using the Search Funtion gets me what I want… FAST.

Now, there’s a new version. WS4.0. Like the existing iteration, WS4 lets you perform an rapid  search of your computer. WS4 helps you find and preview docs, mail data, music files, digicam images, and other items on the computer. I tested it- and it’s really really fast. Continue Reading »
Review: Windows Search 4.0

In commemoration of Earth Hour where every charitable soul shuts off the power for one hour, I’d like to submit Joseph Plazo’s super tips for making the earth live a tad longer:

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Earth Hour: Make Ole Mama Earth Smile!

Too much sex and violence on TV have increased the number of rapes these days. Not only do cute 13 year olds get molested, but so do 76 year old grannies. No joke. Just last week, I read of a grandma in Sudan getting it right up the arse after church. Now that’s unholy. May God burn your souls ye fiends!

Too bad she didn’t have Rapex though. That could have saved the day. There are alternative anti-rape devices like perfumes, lipsticks, chastity belts - but a new condom like device dubbed Rapex  might liberate the sexier sex in those tough situations. Here’s how it works. Continue Reading »
Review: Rapex Can Defeat a 200lb Rapist

Some people just can’t get enough sex. My previous post dissected the Honda Ultimate Sex Robot. Now here are two robots that actually have sex with each other. The zany geeks behind the sexed robots thought to make these machines more intelligent so that they can understand their partners and carry out a meaningful relationship. Scope out the video of the autonomous sexed robots enjoy how they handle their nylon genital organs.

I don’t know what it is with the Japanese. Last time I visited Tokyo, a day wouldn’t pass without hawkers selling me hentai CDs, photorealistic digital sex games, life sized dolls, vibrators… whew. It’s a the land of folks who revere sex.

And then I saw the the Ultimate Sex Robot at a convention. Now that blew me away.  Following the human anatomy, this oversexed robot has four expandable penis, vagina of various sizes, and nipple tweakers too. You simply get stimulation in every hole and appendage of your body- with enough robotic tweakers left for a partner to lay next to you.  Sigh. Continue Reading »
Review: Honda’s Ultimate Sex Robot

This comprehensive PC-care utility has a one-click approach to helping protect, repair and optimize your PC. Advanced WindowsCare Personal Edition helps protect, optimize, and repair your PC –– with daily use. Continue Reading »
Review: Advanced Windows Care 3 B1

There’s rumor that Vista SP1 enhanced Linksys Extenders with a punchy of a speed boost, especially in the transition and animation arena.

Now, it’s doubtful that the system would match the Xbox 360 just yet, but partnered with a speedy PC and SP1 the overall experience might just bump past the ceiling. Continue Reading »
Review: Vista SP1 Gets Extenders a Speed Boost

I got this nasty habit. I leave my credit card statements on the couch. My restaurant bills stay on the table. And my utility payments vacation in the mall’s trashbin.

Know what’s bad? Each document leaves veritable keys to the vault of my identity. Restaurant slips have my credit card numbers. Card statements bear my name and address. And utility statements tend to carry my phone numbers. Any cackling miscreant can piece all that together, and create a new me…. a me who will swipe virtual cards and amass debts to the thousands.

 And who’s gonna end up paying for all that? Why… me of course. But some other cretin enjoys the fruits of my payments.

Definitely not good. Now there’s an iron clad solution to identity theft: Ziszor Continue Reading »
Review: Shred Identity Theft With Ziszor

This week, Microsoft has updated the set of offerings which permit end users to access free copies of Windows Vista and Windows XP SP2.

Despite the fact that giving out free versions of its operating system contradicts the Redmond company’s proprietary business model, both its latest Windows client and its predecessor are up for grabs at no charge at all. The downloads are made available via the Internet Explorer Application Compatibility VPC Image. Continue Reading »
Windows Vista and XP SP2 Downloads Updated

Now that Windows Vista service pack 1 has been released, all eyes have shifted to Microsoft (NSDQ:MSFT)’s plans for Windows XP service pack 3, the final package of updates for the trusty OS.

And, according to at least one source, Microsoft will roll out XP SP3 next Monday.

As of Wednesday afternoon Pacific time, the BitTorrent search engine Mininova listed a 568.73 MB Windows XP Professional SP3 5503 file available for download. The file, which had 112 seeds and 417 leeches, had been downloaded 2083 times since it was posted Tuesday, according to the listing. Continue Reading »
Microsoft To Release XP SP3 Next Week

Commercial software can be too hefty these days. If each byte were a gram- then most software sitting on my desk would have crashed to the ground- and right into the lower floors. Too much bloat I think. All those features crammed in that don’t just make sense. That’s why I love open source. They’re created in boutique fashion and optimized by thousands of charitable eyes all over the web. They don’t have the goal to make money; all they want is a good job.

And Money Manager Ex is  supreme in the realm of open source financial management.

Continue Reading »
Review: MoneyManger Does It Better

Guys don’t mind doing a silicone doll in those heated moments. So why not give doggie the same treat? It looks cute, makes for great pictures and it saves your pant leg from abrasions. Now doggie won’t have to hump you when you drag in from work.

It costs less than $20 and comes in soft supple skin that your K9’s wiener would love.

Buying?

Yesterday my buddy showed me how easy it is to make Windows XP Pro genuine with  notepad. No need to hack the legit.dll, no need to install crappy autoloaders or plumb deep into the depths of XP’s kernel files. Dump  your keygens- things have gotten so easy! It just takes a simple text file you create with a word processor… and  uploaded  via regedit.exe Then you have a genuine copy of the archaic WinXP. Dying to know the secret?

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Windows XP Made Genuine With NotePad

DLO’s hunkydory StrapWrap is a classy universal neoprene case latches to most bag straps, allowing users to store iPods, cell phones and other cool tools  so that you don’t have to dig into your backpack each time you need something. The StrapWrap provides an extra-wide Velcro fastener which secures devices neatly fastened to a strap, while cushy neoprene shields most of the hidden devices. The lovely StrapWrap sells for $20 and affords  a main pocket and an extra pocket, capable of fitting in any device up to 2.5″ in width.

To be perfect, It should allow swimming….

Panasonic launched a spanking new Lumix digital camera out – the FX500. This Lumix stands heads and shoulders above the older FX35 with the inclusion of a 3″ touch screen, 10.1 megapixel sensor and face recognition capability. There’s more. The Lumix FX500 brags a 5x optical zoom, a 16:9 aspect ratio and a 720p high definition video recording mode. The Panasonic Lumix FX500 will only be made available later this May,and sells for $399.95.

Hmm… at that price, I’d rather go for an SLR at $500!